Benjamin
Charles Maydon
Review
Game: Jaws
Unleashed
Platform: PC
[From
RealVG.org, uploaded December 2006]
If I remember correctly, there is a memorable scene in Jaws during which a character scratches
his fingernails against a blackboard in order to catch people’s attention. It’s
a horrible, brain-wrenching mess of a sound which is determined to get people
to look, if only to disparage it.
I’m sorry; did I say ‘sound’? I meant ‘game’.
The cover to Jaws Unleashed
looks promising until you actually read the blurb on the back, which tells you
that, in no uncertain terms, YOU ARE
JAWS. You actually have no choice in the matter, and sure as sure, the
minute you actually start play (if the game decides it wants to install itself
onto your system – in my case, my external HD), you find yourself in charge of
a large, cumbersome and graphically blocky Great White Shark. Turn to your left
and there’s a blue whale you can’t actually get to, turn to your right and
there’s a wall, and ahead of you is a big dark mass (the ocean, allegedly)
which you can’t actually see into until you venture forwards, despite a shark
being one of the most heightened-sensory creatures on the planet. Still, it
doesn’t look too bad… yet.
The controls, however, are the worst since Deus Ex. Ecco the Dolphin
offered up simplistic, yet easy, controls for a sea creature; this game does
not. In fact, it may be competing for a ‘most confusing gameplay ever’ award,
which is the only thing it’s likely to get any commendation for. As Jaws, you
may, if you wish, swim forwards by tapping W. Tapping, that is, because if you hold down W, Jaws will actually
shoot off and you’ll lose what limited control of him you have in the first
place.
Then there’s the mouse. Left and right to turn left and right, up to
go down and down to go up, left click to bite – although it looks more like
‘yawn’ to me – right click to do some charge move thingy which has little real
value whatsoever. Frantic mouse movement to try and avoid the small shark which
has got hold of your tail and is draining your health meter, resulting in total
loss of control of Jaws. Shrieks of rage as you realise that something which
you meant to be a clever enemy-avoidance move actually causes you to surface,
so that as well as the annoying hanger-on, you’ve now got boats shooting at
you.
You also can’t actually get where you want to go without luck being on
your side. There are ‘targets’ to aim for at certain points, as well as food
(creatures) to collect (kill). Of course, you can’t actually get at either of
these, because the ‘swim’ key makes Jaws move too quickly for… well, anything,
in some extreme cases causing quick graphical glitches. Relinquish said key and
move the mouse randomly and Jaws will drift forwards too slowly to collect
anything at all, therefore dying of starvation or attack before you can say
‘bad game’. Overcome your fear and the depths of the ocean will seem tempting,
before you realise that the promise of free-roaming environments is a lie, and
you can’t actually go anywhere lower then a preconceived low point.
There is, apparently, a plot to this game, but as points are
accumulated by eating stuff, there hardly seems to be a point. Cut scenes –
referred to by the manual as ‘cinematics’ – consist mostly of Jaws eating
someone, who looks like they’ve been taken from The Sims, while other Sims scream and mutter gibberish while
watching. In fact, the best speech comes during gameplay, and that’s from
swimming humans who you’re actually supposed to eat. You also won’t get past
the first few levels – not because they’re difficult, although they are; you
just won’t want to. It’s hardly a
gripping game, and even the music – lovingly ripped off from an uncredited Williams’
original score – doesn’t add anything to the game’s lacking charm. It comes in
at points when Jaws is attacking. But hang on, you’re Jaws; wouldn’t it have more effect if it sounded dangerous
when you were threatened? No? Really?
If you could actually perform most of the 17 moves it is claimed Jaws
can do, this might improve the game somewhat. Hell, four or five would be nice.
If you could actually see where you were going or what you were doing, it might
improve the game. If you could play as humans trying to escape Jaws, that would be a game. If it were 2D, and
side-on, it might even be improved. If the game had a point, it might help.
But no such luck. The result of poor coding and total lack of
forethought is that the majority of this game is cumbersome, undynamic,
pointlessly frustrating to control, and something that I most sincerely and
truly hope remains leashed.
Text & Site © Benjamin Charles Maydon
2011